Recently, I was visiting with two of my oldest and dearest friends from college and as we are expected to do when standing in the backyard drinking beer and grilling, we talk about life’s deepest darkest mysteries such as what body part hurts, what we’re currently streaming, how scoring in pickleball works, and what exactly is bitcoin. On this day though we stumbled upon the subject of jobs and careers. The conversation meandered down this path:

Friend #1: I can’t believe I’ve only worked for one company since I graduated.

Friend #2: I think I’ve worked for seven different companies since then.

Me: I’ve had 17 different employers since graduating.

After the laughter had subsided, there were two questions that loomed large. Which is the lesser of two evils? Losing your job? Or the endless grind of trying to find your next job? Regardless of your answer, fear not. According to the U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics, the average person in the U.S. will hold 12 jobs from ages 18 to 52. Thus, I wasn’t a complete outlier after all; and neither are you!

Over the last few years, I’ve tried to impart the wisdom I’ve gained from those 17 gigs onto those who are just starting out or are in the midst of a career crisis. So, consider this your inside scoop on getting a job, keeping that job and what to do when losing said job.

For most of us, the sudden sting of losing your job can only compare to the dull thud of not getting the gig you thought you were perfect for. However, hating your job is in its own category. In fact, it’s more common than you think. According to recent research from Microsoft and LinkedIn, nearly half of all workers were thinking of quitting their jobs in 2024.

If you’re one of the lucky few who does not dread going to work, be patient. Your time will come. The variables that can lend itself to this inevitability are plenty. The reality is that a lot of them are completely out of your control. A quick example? You love your boss, and he or she leaves unexpectedly. They are replaced by a fire breathing, micro-managing, maniac, who doesn’t like you simply because of who you worked for and thus decides to ride you and your performance like a rented mule. You did nothing wrong and yet, here you are. Congrats, you now dread going to work.

Though that is just one example, the playing field is littered with these types of stories that lead one to looking for a new job. The questions remain though. How can you lessen the psychological impact that losing a job can have on you? How can you deal with going from being perfect for the job you just interviewed for, to losing it because there were more qualified candidates? You don’t. You accept it and move on.

While I can’t cover everything that can happen in your career arc, here are ten nuggets of wisdom that can potentially provide you with some much-needed perspective on the employment game, as well as some Dos and Don’ts that will serve you well in the future.

1) No One is Irreplaceable

Everyone has a shelf-life no matter how successful they are or were. I hate to say it but yes, even the perpetual greatness of basketball player Lebron James will eventually subside, and someone will replace him. It happens to all of us. Football great Tom Brady didn’t retire in New England on his own terms as some thought he might. Decisions were made and his exit was messy. However, he did manage to have the last laugh as he subsequently won another Super Bowl title with the Tampa Bay Buccaneers.

This problem arises in the business world as well. Greatness can be fleeting. Technologies change and leadership teams come and go. User habits evolve. The digital obsolescence of apps happens continuously. The sooner you realize that you can be replaced at any given time, the sooner you will understand the importance of what you do, how you do it, and who you do it for. You must know your value at all times. Never assume you are untouchable.

2) Get Better

Particularly in the tech world, if you don’t learn new “stuff,” you are going to be eaten by it. It’s imperative that you stay ahead of a curve that keeps getting steeper for you and flatter to younger workforces. Change is constant and rapid, making it essential for you to stay at the top of your game. Keeping up with these unprecedented advancements is crucial for thriving in the modern workforce and maintaining a competitive edge.

Do employers want the specialist or the generalist? They want both. Know your stuff and the value it has. If you’re good, you’re good, but for how long? Keep learning and evolving and the doors will open for you. The sooner you know this and realize this, the more leverage it creates. If you are reluctant to learn new stuff, eventually you will have no leverage–plain and simple.

Let’s say you are getting better, and you are at the top of your game. If your current employer doesn’t realize how valuable you have become, you have every right to look around for new opportunities. How quick they respond to your rising star will say a lot about them. Don’t overlook it. More importantly, don’t stay in a bad fit job.

3) Relationships matter until they don’t

By all means, leverage your network of family and friends, and if it gets you your next gig, that’s great, but be sure to step back and try to understand the dynamics of what just happened. What are the expectations? Are you now expected to do something for this person in your new role? Did your contact go out on a limb for you? Is there more scrutiny on you because of how you got the job? Will there be jealousy or contempt from your co-workers or managers because they know how you got the job? All of these questions and scenarios are now in play from day one. You need to have your eyes and your ears open. You are now on display for the next 30-90 days. Tread lightly.

Is it a relative you’re working for or with? Watch out. It’s 100% true what they say about working with family. Expectations get a little fuzzy when you’re working for or with a family member. Maybe you roll in after 9 AM or knock off before five. How does that fly with your work colleagues or other family members? I once worked for an ex-brother-in-law. I created an ecommerce platform for his products that generated upwards of $9 million dollars in online sales in three years. My reward? My walking papers. I never saw it coming and to this day, it is still a bitter pill to swallow.

Is it a former co-worker, colleague or client that helped you get the job? Just because they know you doesn’t mean they can’t or won’t throw you under the bus. Know that the warmth and soft glow of the relationship that helped get you hired, could ultimately be a pot of boiling water you just got dropped in to.

4) Don’t always take it personally

Taking relationships out of the equation for a moment, know that there is a certain amount of timing, relevance, and algorithms that can all contribute to you not getting the job that you thought you were qualified for. It’s OK. I can’t count the number of interviews I had in which I thought I had crushed it, only to be let down by the rejection email stating that they we will not be moving forward with my candidacy.

Treat the job search like you’re in sales. Salespeople fill the funnel full of prospects and eventually a sale will drop out the bottom. Sometimes, it’s just a numbers game. If you’re only applying to two or three openings per month, well, it might be a while. According to Indeed, you should be applying to ten to fifteen different jobs each week, or two to three jobs per day. The more you apply, the more you increase your chances of receiving attention from hiring managers at the companies to which you applied to.

Conversely, take it personally, when you do lose your job. There’s always a reason and sometimes they are not good ones unfortunately. Sometimes, they make no sense. Sometimes it has nothing to do with you. You should be mad but don’t dwell on it too long. Use it as motivation. In the case of my ex-brother-in-law, my departure from his company, was and is my ongoing motivation, to this day.

In addition, take time to understand the why behind you no longer being there or no longer being wanted. Sometimes the wounds are self-inflicted, and you didn’t even realize it. That being said, if you didn’t get the job, figure out the why and fix it. If you lost the job, figure out the why and if it was your fault, live and learn and don’t do it again.

5) Check your humility at the door

Sometimes, one of the hardest things to reconcile with others is that you a) don’t have a job or b) are looking for a job. The sooner you can get over this notion the better. Don’t be embarrassed. It happens to all of us. If it helps, everyone goes through it. Yes, there are people in the C-suite that had to interview or look for a job at some point in their lives. You are not alone. Keep in mind, you can’t be hired by the really nice person you just met at your friend’s party if they don’t know that you’re looking for a job. Let people know you’re looking. Remember, it’s a job to get a job!

6) Don’t burn bridges

No matter how badly you just want to publicly rip a former boss or company to shreds, don’t. Keep the anger and vitriol in check. It will do you no good. Translation; No late night, drunken, social media rants. The easiest example of why you do not burn the bridge is that you’ll need former employers and employees for references. There will be a former co-worker or manager or department head that can make or break your next potential gig. You may even see a former co-worker again at another company, so keep it in check. As much as you want to say something about how much of a gulag your previous company was, don’t do it. It might feel good at the moment, but you’ll regret it. That said, do not just leave the company without notice. I know, it’s tempting. You’re fed up and ready to walk. But understand, that your new potential employer will be calling your ex-employer to verify that you indeed worked there and that you left on decent terms. Keep it together and play the game and leave the bridge intact.

7) Measure twice, cut once

As an extension to not burning bridges, if you’re going to be critical of someone, some thing, or some process, at your current or previous company, and your grand plan involves doing that in the form of an email or social media, be prepared for the consequences and repercussions when you press send or enter. Theres no turning back. Theres a digital record of what you just did, and the social media landscape is rife with examples. Don’t do it. Thinking of disparaging your company or your boss in an interview? Don’t. Thinking of blaming someone or something on your exit from your previous company? Nope, the answer is no. Keep it in check, think about it, think about it again, and then take the high road.

8) Manage expectations

When I first entered the management consulting world, I was overwhelmed. Looking back, there were plenty of things that I could have done better or differently. However, one of the best pieces of advice I ever got was from a colleague there who I now value as one of my oldest and dearest friends. He said to me early on, “the best thing you can do here is to make sure you manage expectations.” His point being, if you can’t do something, say “I can’t do that.” Don’t say maybe, or don’t say yes and then deliver something half-assed. If it’s a no, it’s a no. I’ve applied that piece of wisdom to everything that I do now, whether it’s in the business world or everyday life. It lets everyone know exactly where you are coming from and it eliminates doubt and ambiguity.

9) You must maintain an even keel

When things are going well at work how do you feel? You feel great. Let’s say you just closed a major deal, how do you feel? You feel awesome. You’ve just been promoted and have earned a nice little bump in pay, how do you feel? Your team has met its quota for the quarter, and you’ve been given a bonus and a trip, how do you feel? You feel freaking awesome. Who wouldn’t be? Now let’s flip the script. You haven’t popped a deal in weeks if not months. Are you feeling the pressure? Your new boss is hammering you about your work and is all up in your grill. Not too comfy is it? Your old boss has left, and he always had your back. The new boss/ Not so much. What do you do? How do you react?

Your job is going to have peaks and valleys. How you deal with those blips will determine your fate. There’s an old saying that I like to use from time to time for those that taste rapid and sweet success, and that is this, “act like you’ve been there before.” Simply put, try and avoid rubbing your success in others’ faces. Why? Because there will be a time when things are not so good. That I can guarantee. How you deal with the flip side and how you deal with adversity will also go a long way in determining your success and your relationship with your colleagues. Keep an even keel and understand that there will be highs and lows. Be prepared for both instances. My prompt is that I keep a typed sheet of paper with the initials “EK” taped near my desk to remind me just that. Maintain an even keel at all times.

10) Stay hungry

With the exception of Buddy #1 who has worked for one company his entire life, wanting more and doing more and exploring your options is a healthy obsession. Particularly when it comes to understanding your value, staying with your current company because it’s comfortable, will not necessarily quantify that value. Unless of course raises and promotions are coming at a rapid rate. However, there is no harm in keeping your head up and eyes open, even if you do like where you are.

I was once in this large conference room with all the principles of a company I once worked for. Everyone had a really serious look on their faces and the tension in the room was a tad bit thick. I was wondering why I was there. These people were the leadership team. The CEO slides a piece of paper face down across the table towards me and asks me what I think about this candidate they just found online. I turn it over and lo and behold, it’s me. It was my resume. I jokingly told him he better go get this guy before someone else does. For some reason he failed to see the humor.

At that time, I was in tech sales and was the #1 salesperson in the company out of about 40 salespeople. He wanted to know why I was floating my resume. Apart from the stress and pressure that I was constantly under, my value was at its peak, and I wanted to see what I was worth on the open market. His response? Name your price. I now knew my value.

Complacency and comfort are strange bedfellows so having both internal and external conversations about what your future looks like for you should always be in play. Just because you are full right now, doesn’t mean you won’t be hungry later. Stay hungry. Always.

In wrapping this up I am reminded of an old saying by Benjamin Franklin who once said, “In this world, nothing can be said to be certain, except death and taxes.”. The phrase reminds us that while much in life is unpredictable, there are some unchanging truths we must accept. Those truths are that at some point in your life, you will get a job, you will have a job, and you will lose a job. Knowing these eventualities and the ten lessons above will serve you well in acknowledging and understanding that indeed the most universally shared human experience, is work. How you navigate it, is up to you.